Things I Wear that Fashionable Russian Women Do Not

I’m not the kind of girl who reads those blog posts about “What to Pack for Afternoon Tea in Paris” or “Perfect Spring Fashion for Hiking in Central America.” Instead I look in my closet, pick out things that I like or that don’t wrinkle too much, and throw it all in a bag (preferably the night before). Especially since I was traveling solo on my St. Petersburg-Tallinn-Oslo trip, I figured I didn’t need much style. Selfies are from the collarbone up.

Here’s something I learned though – when men stare at you when you’re traveling, it can mean a couple different things. Some flattering, some less desired. When women stare at you when you’re traveling, it means one thing:

You look like an idiot.

I guess it could also mean you look amazing and they’re super jealous of your chic kicks, but I’m willing to gamble that I’m right on this one. My comfortable albeit casual outfits were totally fine during the day when I was camouflaged within massive tour groups getting herded through the major sites, but in the evening when I wanted to go out to dinner or for drinks I noticed I was getting some unwanted female attention. It’s hard to describe exactly the stares they were giving me. It was more like a symphony of disapproval. Usually it started with the eyebrow raise of surprise, followed by a delicate forehead wrinkle of disgust, then finishing off with a subtle eye roll of annoyance. I clearly was an ugly duckling waddling around on the streets on Saint Petersburg. Walking arm-in-arm with their beaus (who were invariably carrying flowers for their lady), these women had perfected every look, from jeans and a sweater to high heels, cocktail dress, and professional-looking makeup they probably learned at age seven. So I made a mental list of things that Fashionable Russian Women don’t wear. It may or may not have matched my packing list.

(If I had written one.)

But to stop you from making the same esteem-deflating mistake I did, here’s a little round up. I call it the Please-DON’T-Pack-This-Unless-You’ve-Thought-Long-And-Hard-About-It anti-packing list for Russia.

Jean Capris

Does no one else in the world wear these?? Since I had packed poorly for September in Russia and northern Europe (aka I had forgotten my full-length and totally normal jeans), my jean capris (and I had brought two pairs, mind you) became my go-to.

While American blue jeans might have swept across the globe, I’m not sure anyone in Russia has even seen jean capris (also called 3/4 pants in some parts of the world, I’ve discovered). The looks I garnered were somewhere between confusion and disgust. Where had the rest of my pants gone? Why would I leave the house looking like a Dickens-era pauper?

Excellent questions, chic Russian ladies.

One evening, I actually got so fed up with the stares I got walking down just one block in my jean capris and classy H&M Aztec sweater that I turned around, went back to my hostel, changed into a skirt and tank top, tights, and ballet flats, and tried again.

Only ONE PERSON looked at me the entire sixteen blocks to the restaurant, and that was a hobbling grandmother who I think disapproved of the length of my skirt. To me, that was victory. That was fitting in! I was grateful to that cranky old lady!

After that experience, I started dressing for dinner, a la nineteenth century fancy people, though I still fell far short of achieving the flawlessness of the local fashionistas.

Purple Rain Jackets with Hoods

I don’t know if it’s all rain jackets, rain jackets with hoods, or just purple rain jackets with hoods. I only had one jacket and no umbrella, so I can only speak to my experience. Just buy yourself an umbrella and save yourself the awkward slick-slack of the waterproof material of a rain jacket as you walk down the street dodging shame and embarrassment from your poor life/fashion choices.

Bonus (negative) points if you match this excellently:

Shorts in September

I tried this out just for a day because I was tired of the blatant stares at my capris. September is already way passed shorts season in Russia, and I quickly abandoned that idea. And though my fashion isn’t great, I would never be the one to wear tights and shorts together.

Skecher Sandals

My footwear choices have always been debatable. For everyday wear I have a collection of sad-looking ballet flats that I’ve worn through on the streets of New York and a smattering of outrageous high heels I can only wear once a year for fancy occasions.

For travel, I swear by my Skecher sandals. Waterproof, sturdy, and great for hot climates, they go with me everywhere. Especially since I rolled my ankle gracefully missing a step at my friend’s house, good ankle support has been super important.

Skecher sandals are not appreciated in Russia. And apparently I can’t just go up to people to tell them I need shoes that are great for walking and ankle support. People don’t appreciate that either.

Cardigans

Though not very common, cardigans I think are generally ok. Just not ones with gapping holes in the sleeve.

I would rarely suggest thinking about your packing list beyond checking the weather (not that I did that either). But Russia is something different. I can’t wait to go back to Saint Petersburg and to explore Russia further.

But you’d better be sure I’m leaving my jean capris at home.

Thanks to Amir for the photos and doing what he could with someone who feels more comfortable hunched over a computer than finding her angles in front of a camera.

Can I get anyone to back me up here about the high standards of fashionable Russian women? Have you ever made a fashion faux pas while traveling?